It's been almost 2 years since I last blogged on this site. I haven't been feeling 100% for a long time now. By my count, for almost 10 years. With each passing year, I seem to collect more and more symptoms, which on their own may not be a big deal, but taken collectively, finally made me faced up to the fact that something is really wrong with my body. So 2 years ago, I quit everything that I was doing, including all my volunteer work, and concentrated on getting better. 2 years on, I'm still not 100% but there are at least some good days (like today, when I have both mental and physical energy) and hopefully, lots more in the future.
Recently, I read a book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The Fourth Agreement stated in the book is "Always Do Your Best". Having the Virgo perfectionist streak in me, although admittedly, this aspect of my personality has mellowed over the years, I've always (consciously or subconsciously) strived to do my best in everything I do. And when I think that I've not achieved all that I've decided to do or have not given my all, I get upset, again, sometimes consciously and sometime subsconsciously. So I was very glad when I read this book, to come across a teaching that has since been very useful and valuable to me. Ruiz teaches that our best changes from moment to moment. I know it sounds like a very simple concept, yet it has been a revelation to me or as Oprah would call it, it's been my "Aha!" moment. I've always thought that doing my best meant that I've to achieve a certain pre-set (my own setting) standard relating to whatever it is that I'm doing. That standard never changed regardless of whether I was feeling sick or well, or whether I felt fatigued or had boundless energy. For me, my best was not a relative standard but a fixed one. And because of that, a lot of self-blame, regret and a whole host of other negative emotions welled up within me time and again. So a big thank you to Don Miguel Ruiz for giving me my "Aha!" moment and making me a lot more relaxed and happier.